It's a sad day to be a Cleveland Browns fan. There is no more frustrated fan in all the world than a Cleveland sports fan. We are to be pitied among all men...

In honor of the ridiculous tear of LeCharles Bentley's patellar tendon, I have composed the following:

My Knee, My Knee
(to the tune of Mony Mony, Billy Idol version)

Here I go now screamin' "My knee, My knee!"
Tumbled down on the ground with my blown knee.
It was day two and I was feelin' fine now.
We ran an outside run and I felt it pop, yeah I felt it pop
I yelled No! No! No! No! No!

'Cause it made me feel
So bad, so bad, so bad
I cried, I cried
It's not right, I can't help but cry
And yell No! I yelled No! No! No! No! No!


I dislocated my knee, my knee.
Shotgun's back again for good old Charlie.
Don't give up though cause I'll be alright now.
Don't stop working 'cause of my knee, cause you heard me
Yell No! No! No! No! No!

'Cause you'll make me feel
So bad, so bad, so bad
And you'll make me cry, yeah I'll cry
That's not right, I'm your Pro Bowl guy
This just blows, blows, blows, blows, blows, blows

There goes your money mo-mo-money
There goes your money mo-mo-money for this year
There goes your money mo-mo-money for this year
There goes your money mo-mo-money for this year
There goes your money mo-mo-money for this year
There goes your money mo-mo-money for this year
There goes your money mo-mo-money for this year
There goes your money mo-mo-money
No, no, no, no, no, no!

Come ON! Come ON!
Come ON! Come ON!
Come ON! Come ON!
Come ON! Come ON!
Come ON! Come ON!
The contact was light, I yelled No! No! No! No! No! No!

Fate just took out my knee, my knee.
Shot down the "turn around" while Ted ran by me
Cleveland give me love and you ripped their hearts out
By ripping tendons up in my knee, in my knee
I yelled No! No! No! No! No! No!

'Cause my Brownies feel
So bad, so bad, so bad
And you made them cry, want to die
Killed their high, kiss '06 goodbye
And cry No! No! No! No! No! NO!

Patch up my knee! Fix up my knee!
Sew up my knee! Come on, come on! (Come ON!)
My knee, my knee
My knee, my knee
I feel like I died
I cried No, no, no, no, no, no!

(Optional challenge response during verse: "We're!" "We're what?" "We're screwed, we're ****ed!")

As usual, here's another liberal who can't resist the urge to throw kerosene on an already blazing inferno for no good reason. It seems, according to this article, that John Kerry has all the answers to the ongoing problems in the Middle East. After all, according to Kerry, "If I was president, this [Israeli-Lebanon conflict] wouldn't have happened."

You know, Mr. Kerry, you're probably right. Following the 2004 election, after your quick unconditional surrender...er, withdrawal...in Iraq, it would only have been a matter of time before Iran and Syria wiped Israel off the face of the map, knowing that you wouldn't do anything more than pout and follow along with the UN as they "strongly condemned" those nations with their words while praising them with their inaction.

Tell me, Mr Kerry...how does it feel chucking batteries from the stands while the real men are out on the field?